Service With A Smile

At some time or the other just about everyone has ranted about the abysmally poor service in Barbados. I shall now officially join the ranks of those who expounded on the topic.

Last night, the A list went to St. Lawrence Gap for some cocktails per my request. It had been a while since college (read: the bars in downtown Burlington) and I was craving a white russian most terribly. We arrived at the door and were greeted (and I do use that term loosely) by a rather unenthusiastic looking hostess. We stood there waiting, as persons went back and forth at leisure, wondering if we would be accommodated as requested at a ‘table for five’. Finally, we were seated outside and given our menus.

We proceeded to order our cocktails (peach daiquiris pour moi) and I must say that at this point the lady waiting on the table was reasonably amiable. I mean, she was not in the running for any awards, but she was adequate - no real complaints there. Soon after, another lady asked us if we were being served and we smilingly told her that we were - so far, not bad. We got our drinks eventually and conversation flowed, the usual chit chat associated with a lime.

The minutes were ticking by and then it occurred to us that no one had been by our table for a considerable while. We were simply sitting there in the company of empty cocktail glasses, with the water from them pooling all over the table and our cocktail orange slices decomposing into soggy messes on our now soaked napkins. We then began to wonder aloud if was normal policy for a place like this to simply seat and serve patrons and ignore them. Given the place were sitting, it was difficult for us to successfully signal for attention.

Anyway, as the night wound down and the mini swimming pool on the table widened, another waitress finally remembered that our table existed and condescended to appear. With her face set up like we were forcing her to eat our soggy napkins, she took my white russian order and handled the queries from my friends. I cannot recall being looked at in a more distasteful manner. We were made to feel like we were single handedly responsible for the ills in this woman’s life and had effectively sentenced her to death for daring to ask for a white russian and a slice of cheese cake. When she walked away, all we could do is shake our heads in shock.

Clearly she received no tip from our table that night.

I recognise that being in the service industry is not an easy task. I have friends who work and have worked in several hotels and restaurants around the island especially in the west coast and south coast tourists belts. Hence, I completely sympathise with the difficulties of the job. I know it is draining to be running back and forth between tables, mistakes may be made and it is difficult to keep a smile permanently plastered on one’s face. For this reason, I am always polite and courteous to waitresses and hostesses, just as the entire group was last night. ‘Do unto others’ I always say, assuming that if I’m friendly to the folks in the service industry, they will reciprocate.

Despite this however, time after time, we have been greeted with substandard service comprising leisurely execution of tasks, tables being ignored, faces dat sour as ass, and dis ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude. I ain send and call nobody to work no where and serve me. I walk in and find dem at a job. Learn some basic manners and common courtesy or leff de rangate job. ‘Cause as hard as their day has been, dem ain supposed to be bitchy to me. It in dem job description to make people feel welcome and taken care of and if people feel snubbed and ignored, den they are piss poor at their jobs. End. of. story.

Another thing is that, quite often, when people walk into a restaurant they are assessed. People that work there look at them and decide if they look rich and touristy and if they likely to tip or order big. If they look young and non-touristy like us, they get the dregs at the bottom of the barrel. Then, because of that, waitresses end up not getting tips because dem cah yah in scruffy - self-fulfilling prophecy. It doan always be because young people cheap or poor that waitresses end up wid nuttin, it is because they look at you and assume yah poor or cheap, thus treat yah like shit and then they end up wid nuttin.

The funny thing is that de same foreigners that some of them are so quick to suck up to in hopes of getting dah lil US tip, does be some of de nastiest people and tell dem de most racist, demeaning things. But yet, de lil locals does end up getting de short end uh de stick. Funny how I was in de statistically second whitest state in de USA and had to be worried bout poor service in a restaurant for being at de only table in de room wid black people, and now come back home and gotta worry bout de same damn ting…

We Want Prenup! We Want Prenup!

Apart from looking absolutely stunning in some of the best outfits on television, Fran Fine also known as The Nanny is usually highly amusing with her down-to-earth, wisecracking wisdom. On one episode I watched recently, Fran was raking Maxwell over the coals for asking her to sign a prenuptial agreement. The show ended with Maxwell dramatically declaring his love and trust for Fran and then ripping the prenup to shreds.

Now, most people I have encountered say that they would be absolutely furious if their partner asked them to sign a prenup. I disagree. I think the entire ‘signing of the prenup’ has been completely sensationalized and calls to mind images directly from Lifetime movies involving torrid affairs, shattered marriages and sworn declarations amidst wails and tears to rob the former spouse blind. Now, whenever a person is asked to sign a prenup, or one partner suggests getting one drawn up together prior to the marriage, the other partner automatically assumes that he/she is being accused of being a dishonest, thieving Lifetime movie type character.

For some reason, I have never felt this way about prenups. To me, they simply make good business sense. A marriage is a legally binding contract. In most countries, two people can undertake the most elaborate religious ceremonies and recite to each other every sonnet from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, but without the proper civil papers, they are still not married. I do not agree that a prenup implies that one partner thinks that the other is dishonest and ‘out to get them’. In that case, I’d like to believe that the marriage would not proceed in the first place!

I think that prenups show a realistic way of thinking. The fact remains that certain laws become more relevant when two people get married - laws regarding ownership of property and other assets and the subsequent division of these assets if the marriage were to end for some reason. Some people simply find it easier to avoid the legal mess that may ensue and simply decide before hand that if things do not work out as planned, division of property may take place in a manner that is a teeny bit cleaner. It does not need to imply that one person thinks the other is a low, scheming thief.

This just leads to the next thing that I find interesting. People consider it completely unfathomable that their marriages could possibly end. Newsflash! Millions of marriages end and, of those that end, I’m willing to bet that those couples all thought they would be “together forever” and they were “not like everybody else” and that “love would conquer all” … til dem dun. I am quite the romantic, believe me. I am all for true loves and soul mates and transcendent unions. I have my dream wedding planned in my head all now, and believe me, it’s absolutely dreamy *swoon*… But the fact remains that no one knows what the future holds, being in relationship with a person is very different from being tethered to them for life and, despite best efforts, millions of marriages crumble for a myriad of reasons. All we can do is follow our hearts and heads, take a leap of faith, work our hardest at the marriage and hope that the sunset remains as beautiful as the day we rode off into it. Unfortunately, the term “happily ever after” does not always apply, and as mature adults it makes sense to prepare for all eventualities. I don't see it as "setting things up for failure", I see it as logically realising that in an imperfect world like this one, the marriage could fail.

If asked, the average person would find it unwise to tattoo their partner’s name on their bodies. Why? Because when it all comes down to it, people KNOW that relationships are uncertain and do not want to spend life with ‘Mary loves Joe’ on their right bicep. Why on earth then would Mary run the risk of paying Joe half her salary every month?

If my future husband and I work together on a prenup and then get divorced, we will be glad that we have one. If we stay happily married, we have something to read for kix when we turn 95 in the afterglow of hot sex. No harm, no foul. The way I see it, I’d rather have one and not need it, than be plunged head first into the post-marital legal mess and wishing there existed some agreement to make the division of assets easier and mutually agreeable. I figure divorces are unpleasant enough already without adding constant fights over who gets what.

Yes, prenups can be contested. Yes, they do not guarantee a conflict free division of property. Yes, the degree of enforceability varies widely depending on the country. Yes, they do not magically usurp laws that are already in place. They do not provide answers to legal answers to every possible divorce ill. But the fact remains that in some situations they can be very useful. Sure prenups may not be for all folks, but I really do not see why people automatically act as though they are the most evil of all documents ever created.

Now about my wedding dress! It will be a beautiful corset top, all laced up in the back with a silver lace and a nice flowing skirt, both with delicate embroidery. My hair will be … *wonders of into daydreams*

Hair Woes

I am 70% certain that if someone came up to me right now with a scissors and offered to cut my hair (after recovering of course from the shock of a stranger in my house wielding a scissors) I would take them up on the offer.

I have absolutely no idea what to do with this hair of mine and long discussions on the topic with my mother have yet to yield a satisfactory conclusion. Every potential style has a downside. Grrrrr!

Right now my hair is long and natural. Usually I have it in twists or cornrows, but my hair gets fuzzy so rangate fast that it is impossible to maintain this style for a while without my hair starting to look a mess. I can take my hair being fuzzy; I just usually have to throw some Motions in it and tie it down for a tad and it is returned to decency. What I don’t like is when it keeps me all hot and bothered and makes me feel miserable and sweaty. I am incredibly predisposed to sweating in my head, so exercising in hot-and-humid-as-the-depths-of-hell-itself Bim leads not only to a mess but a sweaty, bothersome mess in a hurry! Arrgggghhh!

My hair takes forever (i.e. days) to un-plait, wash, condition, treat, blow-dry and have re-plait. Argghhh. Not re-plaiting and just wearing ponytails is not an option because there is so damn much hair on my head, that trying to wear it in one without having it plait gives me a nasty headache.

So what to do? Arrrgh! Straighten it? Hmmmm, maybe but I can’t imagine my hair straightened. My hair was natural from birth to the present moment. How odd would it be that at the point where more people are sensibly embracing natural styles, I would be straightening my hair for the first time in all my life? My chronic migraines and I are not fans of purposefully placing chemicals in my cephalic region.

Locks were on the agenda, but that would only make things worse given that I’m trying to avoid a style that retains sweat. From observing my close friends with their locks, it is not the style I want if I need to wash and redo often. With the texture of my hair, it would easily take at least a year for locks to form. Having to wash it so often would disturb the process. It takes a while before locks form nicely and are “easy” to maintain, and the problem of exercise = sweaty head would still be very present if I had long locks.

I know! I should bring back the Jheri curl! No? I didn’t think so either…

What else, what else? Hmmm. Cut it off? Low curly fro? Convenient and easy to wash, style and maintain. B-b-b-b-but th-th-th-then my h-h-h-h-h-h-hair would b-b-b-b-b-be short! I honestly have no idea how I would look with a low cut. If I end up looking hideously atrocious, I shall have to endure looking that way for quite a while. It is a huge step to go from ‘past-the shoulders’ to ‘one-centimetre-long’ in one fell swoop. As much stress as my long hair is now, at least I know it suits my face and that when it IS freshly done, I does be looking correk. Suppose short hair flop and I look closely akin to Quasimodo and, to add insult to injury, end up developing a hunchback from constantly hanging my head in shame?

Hmmm, decisions, decisions! What to dooooo? Arrrgggghhhh!