The following piece was written by Tom Tolbert of NYU and published as a topic in a Facebook group. It is a satirical piece which addresses discrimination against homosexuals by Christians and creates a hypothetical situation where Christians are subjected to the same arguments and restrictions many currently support.


"MAY 20TH, 2007 Delegates in Astornia vote today on the legality of public Christian practices. Christianity has been at odds with some of the dogmas of Astornia's most popular religion, Xism, for the whole of recorded history. In the country's nearly 250 years, Christians have faced heavy persecution and discrimination. Those that practiced the religion publicly did so at risk of harassment, abuse, assault, mutilation, and even death. In the past decades, Astornia's widespread liberalization has encouraged many formerly reserved Christians to publicly declare their faith, a declaration popularly referred to as "rising up."

Sean MacEntyre is the leader of the Christian movement in Astornia. "I rose up in '84," recalls MacEntyre, "and that seems like a lifetime ago, but many Christians are still in the basement. We need to encourage widespread rising up, because Christianity is really nothing to be ashamed of." MacEntyre has lobbied extensively in Astornia's Congress for equal rights for Christians. "We've been discriminated against for centuries in this country. We are now allowed to practice our religion in the privacy of our own homes, and that's an improvement, but they still won't let us build churches and congregate, or preach. We're restricted from public practice of our faith."

On the other side of the issue that has divided Astornia between its two parties in the last 10 years, is Xist preacher Alfred Xavier. "We're not discriminating," argues Xavier, "They [the Christians] have the same rights as everyone else: You can practice Christianity in the privacy of your own home, just like anybody else. But you can't practice it publicly. That's fair. You can practice your religion as long as we don't have to know about it. I don't understand why they think they don't have equal rights. No one in this country is allowed to publicly practice Christianity, not Xists and not Christians. We set the same standards for everyone."

MacEntyre has said that "this reasoning is absurd. They are denying our religious freedom. They are making the same irrational arguments they've been making for the last 5000 years, supporting it all with a single phrase from their book. How can they make laws based on their scripture?" The verse MacEntyre refers to is Chapter 6: Verse 9 of the Book of Xism, which reads "The xins of this world are plentiful. Drive them from you and your kin. Be not accepting of those that maketh the darkness, those of the tablet, and those of the cross."

A "xin" is any practice or action deemed "evil" by the Book of Xism. "The Book of Xism is the devine word of our Lord Xod," explains Xavier, "For the sake of a moral society, we must follow the word of Xod, and since Xod has told us that the practice of Christianity is a xin, we must take caution to block it from society. It is not that we are Christanophobic; we are merely doing what is in the best interests of Xists, Christians, and society as a whole."

Some liberal Xism historians question the validity of the translation of 6:9, Book of Xism. University of Astornia professors have pointed out that no one puts any emphasis on the phrase "those of the tablet" as it is entirely unclear what this means, and if, as many argue, it means "those that write," it is unpractical to try to prohibit writing. Professor Lawrence Berg has said "Even the translation to 'those of the cross' is questionable. The original manuscript was written in Xlan, and the word commonly translated to 'cross,' *frundi*, is more correctly translated to 'stool.' Besides, even if the translation is correct, 'those of the cross' does not necessarily mean 'Christians.' Even the word 'Xod' has a cross shape."

Xist leaders like Xavier dismiss this liberal analysis. "The greater context of the Book of Xism quite clearly defines the practice of Christianity as a xin."

MacEntyre has tried to argue that the position of Fundamentalist Xists is hypocritical. "If we [Christians] had been in the majority, and the Bible had prohibited Xism, the Xists would complain that their religious freedom was being denied if we passed laws against it."

To MacEntyre's frustration, Xist leaders dismiss this argument as merely hypothetical. "That's not the way it is," says Xavier, "We are the majority, and we know that the Book of Xism is the word of Xod, thus we are not concerned with MacEntyre's irrelevant hypotheticals. We are concerned about the moral fabric of our society."

"I don't understand it, I really don't," says MacEntyre, "We're doing nothing to harm them. It's not like if we start publicly practicing Christianity it will infringe upon their ability to practice Xism. Why can't we build our churches and preach? They're just a bunch of Christanophobes."

Xavier responds: "We are not Christanophobes. It is up to us to protect our society from immoral practices, and if that means we must pass laws against the building of Christian churches, so be it. We don't want to put Xism in a bad light, however. We Xists are a Xod fearing people, but we are a faith of love. We love Christians, but only discourage Christianity for the sake of their own salvation. Love the xinner, hate the xin."

Predictions for the outcome of the vote in Astornia's Congress are mixed. "Whether or not we win today," MacEntyre remarks, "we are assured to gain freedom in the future. The bigots that influence our society will not be around forever. Someday, we'll be able to practice our religion freely, without having to worry about the Christanophobes that so irrationally think they are discouraging us 'for our own good.'" "

B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T.

It would appear that if not for a certain bunny, I would never blog, lol. Hmm, I should dedicate this entire blogspot to him then, in exchange for his giving up pork. *evil chuckle*

Hmmm, I am in dire need of a series of Meredith-esque elevator moments to set things right. However this all works out, it surely will continue to be the stuff that 1 hour dramas are made of. I hate uncertainty.

Current mood: melancholy
Remedy: ...

*Sigh* That really was a very Gaby-esque flex the other day. All I needed was a red sports car and a Valentino outfit and it would have been very tough to tell us apart.

Tu me manques, bien que tu sois "endommagé" ...

Ahh, a not so happy bunny pointed out to me that I have been lagging with my blogging. Alas, he was right. As usual, it has been way too long. Anyway here I am. :o) All is going beautifully in this charmed world of mine. Woohooo!

Valentine's Day came and went, and it had the potential to be so very eventful that I actually kinda kept a very low profile on purpose to make sure I didn’t end up in a series of rather sticky situations. Feel free to make a pun. Such is the life of a pimp eh? Or as Ms. Robinson insists on calling me , a ‘floozie’, lol.

So I got to thinking this Valentine’s Day about the day and its celebration. The current trend in thinking begs the question, 'Why are people such little wet-blankets, party-poopers and parade-rainer-on-ers about Valentine’s Day?' Goodness! If the western world wants to explode in a red, white and pink frenzy of balloons, streamers, chocolates and all things fuzzy and cute, then let it!

Why must some people be such 'enlightened' downers? Bah humbug! I am not a big Valentine’s Day person. I don’t go all out for the day, but if people around me want to, I feel no need to climb up on a sanctimonious high horse and lecture all and sundry about the evil nature of the greeting card companies.

I think that nowadays everyone just feels the need to appear as the quintessential free-thinker that goes against the grain and refuses to do something just because most other people are. Hmmm, someone should tell them that if their only reason for not doing something is that every one else is doing it, then they are still letting the mainstream decide their behaviour. That’s not very free-thinking at all.

I do not propose to tell people what holidays they should and should not celebrate, especially those who choose not to celebrate for religious reasons. But just because they choose not to celebrate, does not mean that they need to be rude and obnoxious about it and burst every body else’s pink and white bubble.

Really, what is the big deal about setting aside a day to celebrate romantic love and connectedness? This is not something specific to the West, this day exists in several forms and fashions, on different dates the world over (gotta love wikipedia!). There is a day to celebrate just about everything under the sun, what’s so different about love?

I don’t understand why people think that having a special day to celebrate love belittles love on other days of the year. That reasoning is pretty shaky. Just because your partner buys you balloons on V-day, means that they ‘need’ V-day to exist in order to buy you balloons? No one ever said that just because the day is celebrated, this automatically means that couples need to be reminded to express their love. Please. Yes, we all know that (s)he loves you on every day of the year, what does this really have to do with getting a token on v-day as well? People do not celebrate V-day because they need the calendar to guide their expression of love, they do it cause it’s fun. Goodness folks, take a chill pill - preferably a pink one with a red trimming.

‘V-day was created by the greeting card companies and therefore has no meaning.’ Firstly, no it wasn’t. Wiki says so and wiki knows all. Secondly, I believe that most days of commemoration were ‘created’. What does this have to do with depth of meaning? A holiday has as much meaning as the people observing it give it. It does not come with meaning ready-made.

Look at World Peace Day and Arbour Day. An environmentalist is not a ‘real’ environmentalist if they get into a green frenzy on Arbour Day? People should beat them over the head with tree branches and scornfully announce that they should be handing out green ribbons every day? This doesn’t make sense to me.

The problem would come if they cared about trees ONLY on Arbour Day and the same would apply to V-day and love. But how on earth could people, without any other evidence, conclude that that is the case with any given couple? Just cause people hype something on a particular day, doesn’t mean it’s meaningless on all the others. Days of commemoration do just that – commemorate.

Anyway V-day lovers, I say do your thing and have some red and white fun. Throw red and white heart shaped glitter on Valentine’s grinches and run away laughing with flower petals trailing behind you. Enjoy life peoples. I’m not a huge V-day girl, but more power to the V-day people. More power to the people who may not celebrate but aren’t all stuffy about their choice not too. To all the others, here – have some candy, it may make you sweeeeter.

"It's been a long, long time,
Can't explain why you've crossed my mind,
I guess it's just to wish you a Merry Christmas."

It's been almost two months since I last blogged. I blame it on a series of technological failures and on being too busy getting my *static* spanked and my *static* nibbled. Ooooh!

I'm still alive and occasionally kicking. All is essentially well in these parts of mine. So for those of you who were entertaining rumours that I had been abducted by a gang of sexy men, those tales are, unfortunately, untrue. *sigh*

Anyway ladies and gentlemen, I want to wish you and yours all the best for the holiday season. Whether your focus is a spiritual one, a (new and expensive) material one or a culinary one, I hope all your dreams come true.

I am currently accepting all forms of gifts, preferably the flashy and expensive kind. For those of you who are uncertain about what to get me, jewellery, electronics, clothing and shoes are always good. I also accept cash and gift vouchers ...

... and you know what? Hugs and forehead kisses are pretty nice as well.

warm fuzzies all,
~mE.

Mmmmm...

I love men…
I love men…
I love the masculine shape…
Shoulders
Chests
Abs
Obliques
Legs…
I love their legs…calves especially.
Firm butts.
I love how lean they are.
I love to see them sauntering along all cool and … manly.
I like them best in shorts and tee-shirts and slippers
Or plaid pyjama pants.
Nothing fancy, just chill and sexy.
I love their voices.
Driving. It’s nice to watch them drive.
Friendships among males intrigue me.
Their essence. Is nice.
I love men.
Yummy, yummy.
Tasty.
In general
As a gender
They attract me.
They have nice laps to sit on.
Nice hands to hold.
Really.
I love men.
Art.
Walking art.

We think we know...

Oh we think we know, but we have no idea.

It is funny how some people are entirely convinced that they are well informed on a particular topic, when their knowledge is as far from accurate as humanly possible.

I read an article on Santanism on wikipedia just recently. (Kindly observe a moment of silence in reverence for the wonder that is wikipedia.) It was interesting, to say the least. The belief system is very, very different to what most people think it is.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satanism

Hmmm, these days are funny nights. In these funny nights, we should all pause a second the next time we profess to know so much about any system of beliefs. We can take Islam as another example. Before we indignantly label Muslims as terrorists and proclaim that the tenets of Islam are absurd since we “know all about it”, we should stop and consider that we may be further off course than dear Columbus.

He who knows not and knows not that he knows not is a fool; avoid him.
He who knows not and knows that he knows not is a student; teach him

We think we know, but we have no idea.

Satanists do not even believe in Satan. How bout them apples?

Disclaimer: For the dim among us, I am in no way linking Satanism to Islam. I am not connecting the two. The point has to do with claiming sound knowledge of other peoples’ beliefs (be is Islam OR Satanism) when we may in fact be ignorant.

A Poison Tree
by William Blake

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole,
When the night had veiled the pole.
In the morning, glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

Too many excellent puns to choose one as a title for this one...

So I went to dinner on Friday night with the remaining two as a late birthday lime. The conversation turned to in-house nudity. This isn’t the first time I’ve had this discussion with a group of friends and the content is always interesting to say the very least. The divergent views on what is appropriate or is not appropriate can be very enlightening.

It would appear that some people are extremely comfortable with nudity at home or around family. They lounge naked in just about any room in the house completely unconcerned about the presence of family members of either gender. Others wrap themselves from head to toe when stepping out of the shower and then screech in dismay if someone manages to glimpse a bare thigh.

As for me, I’m pretty comfortable with nudity. My mother has seen my bare body for the last 22 years. I tend not to lounge naked because I figure my step-father would find that a tad awkward though … but in the event that I’m home alone, a naked stroll is fair game… and of course, what better way is there to sleep?

What say you on the issue?